Hardly anybody recognizes the most significant moment of their lives when they’re happening. Back then, I just figured there’d be plenty more days. I didn’t know that would be the only one.
–Doc Graham, Field of Dreams
For all parents and kids, and especially dads and their daughters
The following is for all parents and all children. It was inspired by some conversations I have had with fathers in the past week, and fathers of daughters may be more likely to find it relevant to them. But the fundamental ideas apply to all parents and all children.
Next weekend is the Super Bowl. On Sunday, February 11th, at 5:30 PM CST, football fans and the people who love them will be watching the spectacle. And for reasons thousands of social media posts, TV shows, and TikTok videos have already discussed at great length, many people who didn’t care about football until a few months ago will be watching this year.
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/nfl-denies-theyre-doing-too-much-travis-kelce-taylor-swift-coverage/
Dads, this is a moment you should consider sharing with your daughter.
This is a special opportunity that I feel compelled to write about. Besides my private practice, where I offer ADHD testing, I also work four days a week for a large health organization in town, where I work primarily in child and adolescent mental health. When you work in child and adolescent mental health, you also work with parents and families.
And lots of dads.
One of the things I hear several times a week, if not daily, is the desire for parents (especially dads) to have more positive experiences with their kids.
It can be hard.
It can be a stretch for many dads to participate in their daughters’ preferred activities. Daughter world is a very different place than Dad world. Speaking as a father of daughters and a psychologist, bridging the divide and connecting with our kids as much as possible is hard and also worthwhile. It’s important to recognize that this takes time and energy, and adults have limited amounts of both. It can be difficult to know what activities and conversations will go well or not so much until they occur.
All children need love and attention from their fathers. They need to know their parents and caregivers take delight in them. Kids who have that experience of feeling valued and important to their parents will be much more successful in adulthood.
Gather ye rosebuds
And we have a very limited time to be with our kids.
However, this next Sunday is different. Millions of daughters will want to watch the Superbowl next weekend to see their hero and her boyfriend. We are talking about three guaranteed hours of quality time Dads can plan on having with their daughters if they so choose. For a few hours that we can anticipate, Dad’s world and Daughter’s world will align.
This is a big deal.
Dads, this is a perfect moment for us. You can watch the game and be there when your daughter is experiencing something important to them. Use that time to listen and learn things. Be supportive. Answer questions she asks. Ask her questions. Listen (and think about!) to what she says. Don’t make her feel uninformed or a nuisance. This is an opportunity. Be the good guy we don’t get to be often enough. There are going to be other Super Bowls for us, but this may be the only one that our daughters want to watch with us. Moments like this are what our kids remember for the rest of their lives. Life is busy and demanding, but it’s worth considering how you would like to take advantage of this opportunity.
And no matter which team triumphs, regardless of what Taylor and Travis do, I hope the winner is you and your daughter/child.
David Nathan, MBA, PsyD, LP
I offer ADHD testing in St. Paul, MN. I would love to help you or a loved one if you are seeking an ADHD evaluation. For more information, please call me at (651) 337-3944.